So, today was the day, I did my body confidence boudoir shoot and nerves were high.

I have always struggled with my weight from the day I started my periods, at the age of 11. I hated everything about myself when I was younger and I can completely get as to why kids still feel like this today, and even more so with how much pressure there is on social media to have the perfect body.

When I was 10, I can remember my nan taking me to buy my first crop top bra thing from Coventry market. I remember being over the moon that I was finally old enough to have one and that I was getting boobs. By the age of 13 I was fed up, I was a 32dd, my Ben Sherman shirts (all the rage at the time), just hung off my boobs, there was only boys shirts at this point. So because the shirt hung off my boobs people thought I was fat due to the shirt not showing off my already developed curves. I hated my big hips, bum and boobs, I can even remember a lad at school telling me I had a fat arse, to which I replied, “Well don’t look at it”. By the time I got into year 10 and 11, I was a 32e and hated my boobs , by this point I was wearing girls fitted ben Sherman shirts so my boobs looked huge, but at least my waist looked small. What bothered me the most was that lads at school would find it completely normal to come up and grope you, as if they had the right. Speaking to some of the girls in group this still happens but at that age you don’t think much of it, but if someone did that to me now, at the age of 32, it would be sexual assault, and they would get a black eye!!

When I was 16 I met my first boyfriend, who I was with for 5 years, he was great 80% of the time but the other 20% he’d make me feel like I wasn’t good enough, I was fat, ugly and no one would want me but him. It just got to a point that I couldn’t take anymore. I find that if someone wants to offend you and make it personal they always make it about your looks, fat or ugly or even being called a slag and its worse when girls are saying these things to each other. So why is it we feel the need to be perfect? How many of us actually do it for ourselves, and not so people think we’re those horrible names?

This photo was when I was 21, and the happiest i’d ever been with myself and my body. I truly felt comfortable with who I was and what I looked like. I was like this for about 6 months, I’d lost a stone in weight and was so much more confident. But although I was happy, friends told me they thought I was too skinny and sometimes I looked ill, I was 9st 5lbs at this point so I wasn’t too skinny. But it’s like you cant win.

These next few photos i’m the same weight in each, but it shows how different outfits can make you look so much slimmer if you dress right for your shape. Im not 100% happy with my weight now, in fact I started slimming world 2 months ago and must be the worst slimmer ever as it’s took me all that time to lose 7lbs, BUT its a loss.I would like to get to my pre baby weight to feel completely happy again.

This photo above is of me and my bridesmaids, which were mums I met at the school, who 6 years on are still in my phone as “somebodies mum” i’m sure i’m still in there’s as “Harriett Olivers mum”. I found out I was pregnant at the age of 21, after previously being told that I wouldn’t have kids after I had a miscarriage with my first boyfriend. I was gutted, as I was selfish, loved going out and loved my body at the time and was truly happy in myself. Instantly I felt as if I faded away and I became a mum to somebody not Harriett anymore I instantly had to change my life. As soon as Olli was born, I thought I need to lose weight, and now 2 kids on i’m still trying to do the same. But that isn’t what the shoot was about , we did the boudoir shoot so we could all just be us, not Olli , George and Josh’s mum, just me Harriett (or H as friends and family call me). It was about showing the girls I teach that being a size 6 or 8 isn’t for everyone, and there’s a story behind why I am a size 16 as my hips and ass are massive and I love food so much. But does this make me not beautiful? I know they’ll be people that say I’m not and I should medically be thinner but health wise I’m fine. I hate my baby belly, having sections left me with that horrible pouch and lots of stretch marks but if it helps one of the girls in the group realise that it’s not about the way you look on the outside but how you feel, and if your a good person and do good things then it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, when they look at you, you’d be beautiful on the inside and that is what matters the most, as that is what makes the world a better place to live in.

So finally after telling you a little about me, the bit that I’m dreading. Here was me before the shoot. I did everyone’s hair and make up, in hope that this also made the mums feel like them and not a mum. There’s myself and 20 parents taking part in this shoot in hope that the girls see our mummy bods and think that we look good and confident, and although we are all nervous and doing something completely out of our comfort zone, they take away, that they can do anything.

I went last on the day, but each mum came out saying how at ease they felt with Blanka (the photographer) and how they enjoyed it, so my nerves just went (as well as help from 2 glasses of prosecco). I had bought 5 different outfits for the shoot not knowing what to wear, I felt most comfortable in a babydoll so I decided to go for that.

I really hope that anyone reading this who hates there body or has issues with themselves would do something like this. It was nice to be in the room and just be me for 30 mins not someone’s mum, someone’s hairdresser or someone that runs a charity. It was me H stripped back showing people we can push ourselves out of our comfort zone and look beautiful from the outside in.

If you want something like this done please contact Blanka’s professional photo will be up on the page soon and will look a lot better then the ones on my phone we took for the blog. I hope you enjoyed finding a little bit more about me have a fab day H.

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